Well here we are back in Calgary, trying to make sense of what direction our new normal will look like. It’s overwhelming to know where to start as we dig through the mountain of unknowns for our future.
God has been teaching us daily how to overcome our fear with our faith. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the unknowns and if allowed, the enemy would use that to instil doubts and false expectations so that we might wander off the plan God has for us.
I recently heard an acronym for fear that resonated so deeply. FEAR=False Expectations Appearing Real.
Yesterday we returned home from our vacation in Mexico. This is the same vacation I mentioned in ‘why a Blog’ ( see my HOME page) , Jesus has changed the desires of my heart to seek Him first. As we return home, we are faced with the reality of what our life has become.
We have settled into the condo… its not so bad; 3 people, 2 bedroom 2 bath; we each have our privacy, but yet still many decisions to be made… where to start. We both went through a grieving process as we said goodby to our previous home, we spent 10 years creating a life there. We knew it was the right decision but that didn’t take the sting of loss out of it.
For Mikes mom, moving back into the condo that she had moved out of a year earlier was a difficult transition, and for Mike, He could only see failure… at one time he owned 8 properties , now all were gone and we were living in the condo he had bought for his Mom.
Today is our last day on what I suspect will be our last vacation for a very very long time. I look out at the ocean waves breaking in the distance and I can’t help but see the contrast between the area inside the lagoon, and outside the the ocean berms created to protect the lagoon and keep the large waves and dangerous sea life out.
My mind begins to focus on the waves crashing in the distance, tumbling and turning ferociously… I see this as what awaits me when I return home tomorrow. How will I stay afloat in those waves? will I be able to catch my breath? I quickly feel the anxiety start to rise within me.
You know that feeling, when you’re standing on the beach and the surf is coming in and pushing out. The way your feet sink into the wet sand and your stability momentarily wobbles? This is how I found myself today, I literally felt like I was walking one step forward and two back.
Maybe it was the frustration of getting around with a broken toe, as every step was painful and everything was a long way away. Yet, I felt like it was something more, it was like this broken toe was maybe meant to teach me something more… I’m going to be honest here, it really sucked.
Regardless, I decided to dig in and pay attention to what God might being saying to me. I tried to focus on the book I was reading, but my mind kept jumping back between; where I currently was ( this beautiful vacation) and where we would soon be (home…filled with pits of mud & mire). I realized that I was once again losing my focus, I was looking at the looming problems rather than making the choice to trust in Jesus.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton