As I sit here reflecting on this journal entry from three years ago, I have the gained vision of looking back at it from the other side. I can read and remember the fear, uncertainty and pain that I was in from the loss of our business and the loss of our home… all the uncertainty that we were facing.
I remember not knowing how we could possibly move forward… what would that look like? What would we do for work? Would we be able to serve God in our work? There were far more questions than answers, Yet the Lord took our hands and led us out of the desert of our making in the promised land that He had for us all along.
I find myself reminiscing back through the journey… how we got from there to here. I can’t help but smile and feel God smiling back down on us. He taught us the importance of complete surrender… the type of surrender that does not take it back, but trusts that He was in control and we are not. He taught us to have Faith not fear… and focus our eyes on Him as our healer and redeemer.
He showed us that to know Him was to spend time with Him. To let Him into our worries and pain, and He met us right there. He taught us that we have intrinsic value to Him. When He created us, He had a plan and a purpose for our lives. Finally, the most important lesson that I learned from these last three years is that God doesn’t waste our mistakes, nor is our time in the desert for nothing… it becomes part of our purpose towards His plan.
It was in these areas that He was preparing us for the path we are now on, He was teaching us how to live on much less, to find beauty in new surroundings, and to have empathy with others who find themselves in their personal desert. He showed us that it is possible to have Hope even when life doesn’t make sense and to KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt that He is very present… Thank you Jesus, today my heart is full.
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
We may throw the dice but the Lord determines how they fall. Proverbs 16:33
Thank you for your Word, for wise instruction intended for us to use as we navigate our life in this world. How often have I said; “if only I knew what God wants from me ?” Yet, your Word tells us everything that You want from your children. To Love YOU more than anything else…to follow YOUR plans for our lives rather than our ways…You tell us that we can make our own ways, but it is YOUR ways that are right…that we can throw the dice, but YOU determine how they fall… It is in centring our lives around YOUR WILL that will keep us on the narrow path.
Father, would you show me Your plan and direction for our future. We chose to commit our actions to You Lord, would You give us Your instruction. You have removed the blinders from our eyes, and we can now see our many mistakes, they are now so evident and clear.. Forgive us Father.
We rarely sought Your council and tried to fit You into our plans rather than seeking and committing our plans to what You had for us. Sadly, it never crossed our minds that You may of had something different in mind for us… we just barrelled ahead hoping You would bless us in the outcome. Thankfully, Your Word also tells us that You will let us go our way, but when we hear Your voice we will turn and follow you again.
It is most often when we have failed…when things look bleak, that we turn off the noise of the world and tune back into You. Thankfully nothing goes to waste if we surrender it to You, and You will use those mistakes, choices and broken ways to get our attention and re-shape us according to Your plan.
Lord Jesus, thank you for revealing my unfaithfulness towards You, for showing me that I was in fact seeking approval from the world, through our business, rather than through You. I was yearning for human accolades and admiration, thereby creating who I was rather than yielding to who You created me to be.
Forgive my unfaithfulness to You Lord, continue to mold me and change me into the woman You desire me to be. I can see now, after submitting my plans to you, why I had such turmoil about re-establishing my business under different branding. To do so would have left me remaining in a position that simply fed my ego and left me in the cycle of seeking worldly approval with no hope for long-term fulfillment.
Father God, would You give me some kind of direction or/ confirmation as to what You would now have me do. You have created me with talents and gifting that I need to be using, show me the right path Lord… one that would be glorifying and honouring to You.
Your Word reminds me that there are paths that seem right, but that actually lead to death (a complete absence from You). Keep me off that path Lord and set my steps accordingly. Reveal where my heart is resisting You and Your will for me. Help me Jesus to commit fully to You… Your plans… :Your ways… Your Love… Your direction and begin the transformation of my life.
In Jesus Name ❤️ Amen
If you find yourself in a similar place I was three years ago, filled with uncertainty, doubt and guilt. Feeling the sting of realization that you really blew it… Let me remind you, it doesn’t matter how many steps you may have walked away from Jesus, He is only 1 step back… You simply have to turn around, He is waiting for your return.
Maybe you’re in a desert of your own making, and life feels scary and uncertain, sit down with the Father and open His Word, reveal your heart to him and ask Him to reveal His to you. You are deeply loved by Your Father / Creator and He has a plan for You, a plan that will bring you true fulfillment.
Or, maybe you are walking in His way and will, yet you find yourself confused with this crazy world we find ourselves living in. A world filled with dreadful fear over the Covid virus, Nightly News Casts, fueling that fear to new heights daily. A world where good is seen as evil and evil is applauded as good… how do we live in such a place? What would God have from us here?
I believe we are to follow the ways of the disciples and apostles , we are keep our eyes focused on Jesus and serve: where, when and how He calls us to serve. We are to trust that He is with us in the storm and know completely that nothing can take us away from Him. We are called to be the Light in a Dark and broken world… so shine on my friends… shine on.
Wherever you find yourselves, may you know the Love your Father has for you. A Love so deep that He willingly chose to die for you and me. Join me in asking Him to help us die to our fears as we trust in His path for our lives.
Blessings ❤️ Janet
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