“I will sing to the Lord because he is good!”

As I sit down to write and think back as to when this journal entry was written and the uncertainty that was engulfing us, all I can say is “God you are so Good!!” At the time of this journal entry, we were in the process of becoming “unencumbered“.  The problem is, we really couldn’t even understand what that meant, never mind how it would play out. 

Our mantra for those days was “Faith not fear”, we had to ground ourselves in those words daily if not hourly, and as difficult as those days were, I am so thankful for them.  God used those days to mold us and prepare us for where we are today.  

Miraculously, the necessary funds always came, other times we were extended great favour from those with the power to do so. Every time we thought we were stripped down, we discovered God had another layer to reveal, more work to be done in our molding process. 

Now jump forward 2 years, and so many of our prayers have been answered.  We are serving the Lord together in a community where people have lost so much. We know what it’s like to live with little… we know what it’s like to lose our home…we’ve experienced living in complete uncertainty…and we survived.

Back then, when I prayed “O Lord, how long will you forget me? How long will you look the other way”, I wasn’t able to see the preparation He was putting us through, oftentimes that vision only comes through way of the rear view mirror. It is by looking back and remembering what God has done for us that we are reminded that He is always at work, always holding on to us and always directing us towards the plans He has for us.  

It’s only when we surrender our plans and choose to walk in the plans the Lord has for us are we truly free and unencumbered.  We had to let go all of the burdens that we had piled upon ourselves: our own efforts, our materialistic desires, our success etc. So that God would be able to release us into something so much better.

God you are so Good!!

Journal Entry # 43

O Lord, how long will you forget me?  Forever?  How long will you look the other way? /  How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart everyday?  How long will the enemy have the upper hand? / Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!  Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. /  Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying “we have defeated him”!  Don’t let them rejoice in my downfall. / But I trust in your unfailing Love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me. /  I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.        Psalm 13:1-6

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for Your Word.  Thank you that even the anguished voice of David in his suffering, were recorded for us.  Thank you for showing us that it’s OK to question…”how long Lord?”.  

Your Word tells us that You examine every heart on earth, both the wicked and the righteous.  Examine my heart Lord, show me all the areas that I still need to get right.  Expose the hidden places to Your Light Father.  

It’s fascinating to learn that the UV rays from the sunlight can disinfect naturally, keeping balance from the toxins in soil & wood.  So too can Your Light internally, disinfect my soul from the toxins within my very heart, cleansing me and giving me a new start.  

Cleanse me I pray O Lord, that I might be upright in Your sight.  Do not desire me for my sinfulness.  

Heavenly Father, I can relate to this Psalm of David.  I too feel anguish in my soul and feel as if You have turned Your face away from me.  Lord, I desperately want to do what’s right and live a blameless life (Psalm15.2)

I want to refuse to gossip, or harm my neighbours or speak evil of their friends (Psalm 15:3),  I want to despise the flagrant sinners and honour the faithful followers of the Lord, and I want to keep my promises, even when it hurts.  (Psalm 15:4)

I want to be those who will lend money without charging interest, and to be one who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.  For Your Word tells us that “such people will stand firm forever” (Psalm 15:5)

Lord God, how desperately I want to “stand firm”.  I feel as if I am standing on very unstable ground at this time in my life.  My faith in who You are is strong, but my faith in ‘what You will do for us’ is weak.  Forgive me Lord, for my lack of faith,  help my measure of faith to increase.  Continue to show me and teach me of Your faithfulness. 

As this point of time, I am having trouble seeing past my immediate situation:  all of our bank accounts are overdrawn.  The pile of bills continue to grow, and we have one week until we move out of the condo and minimize our live into a 30ft. travel trailer and we have no immediate income, with nothing new on the horizon.  

I truly felt that You were ‘sending us’ to serve You, while on our Journey for Jesus in the trailer, but now I have only doubts.  We don’t even have the funds necessary to go anywhere or park the trailer in an RV park. I am truly overwhelmed Lord Jesus.  

I am trying so hard to hold onto my faith and my hope for the future, but all I see is the haze around me.  Yet… Your Word continues to tell me to see things differently than those who don’t know You.  Your Word tells me that “You are just…Your are merciful…You hear my plea and will answer my prayers. That You bring peace to the innocent and You will keep us safe”.

Your Word reminds me that You WILL make a way for us, that You are our protection and You are our defender.  You are our shield, saving those whose hearts are true and just.  You judge the world with justice and rule the nations with fairness.  You are a shelter for the oppressed and a refuge in times of trouble.  

Your Word tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all our heart, and to not lean on our understanding.  To seek Your Will in all we do and You will show us which path to take”.  Lord Jesus,  imprint these words on my heart and in my mind, for I can not lean on my own understanding in this situation…as nothing makes sense to me. 

Help me Father, to trust in You with ALL my heart , soul & mind.  Teach me to seek Your Will in ALL we do. Father, You know my heart, You know all we want to do is serve You.  We are not after wealth or fame.  You have given us opportunities and grown our hearts of compassion for those that are hurting.  All we want is to use those gifts to serve You and show the Hope that only comes in You.  

Help us Lord Jesus to learn the lessons we need to learn in this time of our lives.  Draw us close to You as individuals and as a couple.  Continue to mould us into the people You desire us to become.  Guide our path Lord, show us when to stay and when to move… when to turn to the right or to the left.  

Your Word tells us that You will give us “Abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine”.  I honestly don’t even know what to ask  Lord… so I ask for Your wisdom, Your provision, and Your guidance.  We don’t want to give in to OUR will out of desperation, and thereby hinder our ability to serve, we want to fulfill your plan Father.

We are afraid to take on more work with the business, causing us to dig our financial hole even bigger if that it NOT Your will Lord.  We desperately need to hear from You Lord… Give us Your direction and we WILL follow it.  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart;  Do not lean on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take”.  Proverbs 3:5-6

My Final Thoughts & Encouragement:  

Dear Friends, thank you for tracking with me.  Walking through my journey for a deeper richer life with Jesus.  I’ve been writing for about a year now, and if you’ve been following me I can only hope and pray that the Lord is speaking into your life through some of my experiences.  If you are new to my journey, welcome I hope to be use my experiences to encourage you on your journey. I also encourage you to check out my Why Blog this? page to get the back story. 

I don’t know about you, but when I look around at our world today, it’s easy to be discouraged or even feel defeated.  Covid has been holding us captive for almost a year, it’s strange to see how unbelievably fast life can change worldwide.  

Political unrest is at an all-time high, I can honestly say I have never experienced a time when there is such complete division in North America.  It appears that the battle lines have been drawn, so what does this mean for you and I? 

I heard a comment recently, not sure who to attribute it to, but it held so much wisdom;  “It’s not Right or Left that we need to be concerned with,  in reality it’s Up or Down”.  When Jesus returns there will be no Right or Left, the only directions we will be concerned with are Up or Down…where will we spend Eternity? 

When I re-read my prayer above, I recognize that much of that prayer is still relevant for today, and the times we find ourselves in, especially the portions from Psalm 15.  When we ask, how do we navigate life in our current political climate, I would suggest we sincerely pray as David did, seeking to live outside of the chaos surrounding us.  

Focus on actions that will reflect Loving God and Loving Others,  in doing this we can never go too far wrong. 

Blessings, Janet ❤️Journey4Jesus

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