A MOTHERS HANDS… What story will yours tell?

The Circle of Love

How do I explain what I see;

when I look at you?

I see a past of Strength,

But a present of Weakness…

I see a past of Determination,

But a present of Resignation…

I see a past of Independence,

But a present of Reliance…

I see the very hands that once cared for me,

Now needing my care…

These hands represent Strength,

Yet weakness peaks through…

These hands that once comforted me,

Now receive my comfort…

This heart that fiercely protected her children,

Now leans into us to protect her…

How do I explain what I see;

When I sit with you?

I see our hands holding onto you,

Loving… Caring… Protecting and Praying you home.

How do I explain what I see;

When I sit with you?

I see Love… coming full circle,

From your hands – to ours – and back to you ❤️

{Written by Janet Voth  2019, as I prepared to say good-bye to Mom : May 25,2019}

Journal Entry:

Welcome to Throwback Thursday.  This post was originally posted for Mothers Day in remembrance of my Mom, yet lately the hole that was left with her passing continues to grow.  So many things I wish I could share on this journey with her… so much hope and answered prayer.

As I sit and reflect on my Mom, I have so many conflicting emotions.  I think about the amazing Daughter’s God has given me.  Their beauty and strength.  The difficult journeys they have each travelled as they learned to navigate life in this seemingly unforgiving world.  They have experience hurt and pain, Love & hope and have expanded and grown to become the women they are today.

I think about a son I had when very young, one that I gave up for adoption so that he could have a better life with both Mother & Father.  Would I ever meet him again and look into his eyes.  Would I ever see the family resemblance in him to his half siblings.  In the eyes of the law he is no longer my son, but in the eyes of a Mother… he will always be!

Then I flip the coin, and I reflect back on my Mother.  I feel her loss, as I prepare to experience another of her birthdays come and go without her steadfast presence in my life, the grief rides its tides of ebb and flow. How I wish to talk with her once again… to share all that God is doing in my life.

Today I feel the empty spot in my heart that was reserved for her.  She was a tiny but strong woman, like an ant… I was always amazed at what she could manage.  She was stubborn and a little headstrong… pretty sure I picked up those qualities from her in my own personality.

Mom’s life was filled with many ups & downs…  Joys & Sorrows… Triumphs & Tragedies…but she never gave up, she continued trusting that God had a purpose in it.  She grew in a time when adversity was more common then comfort, and life was never assumed or expected to be easy.

She taught me to be strong, and to see beyond the moment into the bigger picture of time. My Mom always knew Jesus, but like so many of the time, her faith was quiet & personal.  As kids we had to go to Sunday school, so we learned that about God & Jesus, yet these were topics mainly just discussed on an occasional Sunday .

Yet it was in this that the Lord started drawing me to him.  I developed a Child like faith in someone or something Bigger than me that was in control of this unknown & oftentimes scary world out there.  ( More on this story another time…)

So today I sit, with a mixture of sadness, peace & joy, in my heart.  Sadness for the massive hole that will remain forever empty.  Peace  with the fact that I know where she is and that I will see her again.  And Joy… incredible joy as the Circle of Love continues to expand with the arrival of a new Grand daughter.. there is nothing better for grief and loss  than experiencing the exhilaration of new life and all that comes with it.

“Can a Mother forget her nursing child?  Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?  But even if that were possible I would not forget you!”   Isaiah 49:15 NLT

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your Word, thank you that it is our bread of life and sustenance in times of turmoil.  Your Word reminds me that You are always there, “You will never leave us or forsake us”.  

In Isaiah’s time, the people of Jerusalem were convinced you had left them, and through your prophet Isaiah you gave these powerful words to assure them that You Lord would never abandon them.  As a mother,  I understand the depth of that love and loyalty.  These words were used to see the bigger picture as there are very few bonds stronger than that of a parent.  

Lord Jesus, my heart breaks today for all those who never had this type of closeness and loyalty with their parents.  My childhood was also complicated and at times painful.  Thank you that You have promised us that You are the perfect parent, not given to brokenness that often comes within the brokenness of our world.  

Thank you Lord, for the gift of time.  Time to remember those who raised me and for better or worse contributed to who I would become.   Thank you for entrusting me to them, never letting me out of your sight, and chosing how you would draw me to yourself.  Thank you for new life, and the joy and privilege of being a Grandma.  

May I continue to Love my Children well Lord, as well as be a Light for my children and grandchildren to see and Know you.  Thank you my Mom, who is now with you in your presence finally free from the constraints and brokenness of this world.  And finally, thank you for Loving me and choosing me as your child.                             In Jesus name❤️ Amen. 

My Final Thoughts & Encouragement:

Maybe you are like me, caught in an awkward space between joy and sorrow.  Maybe you had a less than wonderful relationship with your Mother, I recognize this can be complicated and painful for many.  Maybe you have never been able to experience Motherhood or don’t even know if you want to.

Please remember, God never created us to all be the same. His plans and purposes for each of us are different, as are the ways we are forged into those purposes. As people we are flawed by sin.  We often hurt people and people often hurt us.  I believe that this grieves God greatly.  I went through times no child should ever go through,  yet  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus was with me and grieved at the pain our worldly evil was causing.

Wherever you are on this gamete of experiences…  Wherever you are in your journey right now:  child, parent, grandparent… God is With you and For you.  God built into each of us a desire to be Loved and to Love others.  Sadly, there is another side that would seek to kill & destroy, to remove any hope of what the Father has for us.

If you are on the side of sorrow for Loss… reach our to God as the great Comforter.  (read Psalm 147:3 TPT)

If you are on the side of anger, hurt or pain… reach out to Jesus as our Savior, He wants to redeem you from your past and give you hope and a future. (Read Matthew 6:12 TPT)

If you are a parent of young children… Don’t blink, it will be gone before you know it.  Ask God to help you be present and see each day as a gift.  (Read Psalm 127:3 TPT)

If you are a parent of a teenager or prodigal, adult child… Love them anyway, just as our Father Loves us when we rebel against Him.  Reach out to the Holy Spirit for wisdom on navigating the storm… He can calm the wind and the waves. (Read Luke 15: 20 TPT )

If you are a parent of a new parent, embrace the beautiful role of Grandparent and pray for the ways you can build into your adult Childs life as well as that of your Grandchildren.  God is not done with you and the role & responsibility of being a Grandparent can come with some amazing rewards.  (Read Proverbs 17: 6 TPT)

God is in your yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows all at a the same time… He knows the plans He has for you…

Blessings,  Janet❤️. Journey4Jesus

Do you know Jesus ? He’s waiting for you… ( click the link to learn more) 

{ If this benefited you in any way, I’d love to hear from you and I would be thrilled if you would share or invite more people to be encouraged. }